The 3 Most Helpful Parenting Tips I Have Learned Thus Far

When I was pregnant with my first, I once heard that we should spend less time reading about birth plans and spend more time reading parenting books. Wow, ain’t that the truth! The cliche is true, raising children can be challenging but rewarding. Parenting styles are extremely personal and controversial. However, I will say, make sure you get help, read books, listen to podcasts, and ask people you respect. Get as much information that you can, because what works for one family may not be for you. Maybe you want to mix and match a few different parenting tips resources.

My husband and I landed on Positive Parenting and enjoy learning from Dr. Becky from Dr. Becky at Home, Ralphie from Simply on Purpose, and Love and Logic. Below I listed what I believe to be the three most helpful parenting tips that apply not only to parenting but to any relationship!

Water the roses

Focus on the good! Many parents sit quietly while they are happy with their child’s behavior and only give attention to the behavior they don’t like. If you like something that your child or loved one is doing, express it! Let them know- the more specific the better! Dr. Becky and Ralphie have good examples of what to say and when to say them.

Positively reinforcing your child will not only improve their behavior but will also help create a better relationship with your loved one. If you’re a numbers person to help put things more into perspective, the “magic ratio” of positive interactions to negative interactions should be at least 5:1.

Have realistic expectations

This has helped my happiness level increase dramatically. As a first time mom I had all these unrealistic expectations. Society made me believe that love was all I needed, babies sleep like rocks, and eating is a natural thing. Ha! I am not saying lower your standards, but by having realistic, doable expectations, you won’t be disappointed. Kids are going to act like kids, that’s their job, but if you have realistic expectations you can help set the situation up for success instead of failure.

An example of this is taking your child to the park. You should probably have the realistic expectation that your kid may throw a fit when you tell them it is time to leave. Now, you can prepare them and set the situation up for success. You can discuss before you get out of the car how you want them to act when it’s time to leave. When it’s about time to leave you can give them the choice, “Johnny, do you want to leave now or in five minutes?” Then when it’s time to leave you can say, “Okay Johnny, It has been five minutes like you chose, it’s time to leave.” Johnny is probably going to be less likely to throw a fit now because you prepared him. However, if he still does at least you have realistic expectations and you can try again another time!

Positive perception = positive outcome

If you focus on the positives in a situation you are more likely to have a more positive outcome. As a parent you may have had a really hard day. Maybe your toddler had tantrum after tantrum and the baby was sick and teething. First of all, give yourself some grace because we have all been there. Second, if you remember the extra snuggles you got with the baby and the sun was shining while you pushed your toddler on the swing, you may look back at your day and think it was actually a pretty good day. After all, aren’t we striving for happiness and isn’t happiness in the eye of the beholder?

Although these may seem like simple concepts, it took me 3 years to learn them and 1 year to apply them. Since I have started looking for the good in my relationships, manage realistic expectations, and having a positive perception, it has become more natural. Parenting definitely still has its challenges and I feel like I’m winging it most days. At the end of the day when my husband asks how my day went, most of the time I can honestly say it was good day.

Hopefully I can save you some time and these 3 parenting tips can help improve your relationship with your loved ones and your outlook on parenting!

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