Tips For A Successful Pediatric Doctor Visit From A Pediatric Nurse

Taking your child to their pediatric appointments can be stressful for everyone all around. When they are newborns up to 6 months, they either are sleeping or smiling at everyone. 8 months to 2 years old, is when stranger danger sets in and they cry immediately and possibly the whole entire appointment (normal!). After 2 years, they are somewhat aware of doctor appointments and what goes on in them. It can cause lots of anxiety. After working in a pediatric office and having 3 kids, I’ve learned some tips to help make pediatric appointments more successful.

***Disclaimer: I am not here to judge or push vaccines on you. That is a decision for you, your family, and your doctor. There are many things that go on at doctor appointments that can cause anxiety that require coping skills, besides vaccinations. For example, some kids have lots of anxiety around getting their vitals checked. If you are interested, here are some tips that can help with vaccines and other procedures that may go on. Great, now that we have that out of the way, let’s have some fun!***

Preparation

Preparing your children for their appointment is so important. There are tons of fun things you can do to get a child excited and ready for their pediatric appointments.

Before we do something knew, it’s important to talk about what you will do! Talking about the process in words they will understand. What they will feel, who they will see, instruments and tools that will touch them, what they will hear, will they taste or smell anything?, etc. Be honest, the more detail, the better.

Share stories with them about when you go to the doctor. Kids love that! Try to keep them positive, but honest. If you were uncomfortable, talk them through it. What coping skills did you use? This will help prepare them for their visit.

Learn about the doctor

Read them books and watch kid shows about the characters going to the doctor. We love, Daniel Tiger Goes To The Doctor. You can also watch Daniel Tiger on PBSkids, our favorite. He is great and we learn about a bunch of great stuff from him. Read or watch, Daniel Tiger Goes to the Doctor, together and talk about it during and after. Maybe reread/replay it again the day of the doctor appointment. This works wonders in our house.

Another good kid show is Doc McStuffins! We love her! You can go crazy with her stuff. She has books and a show on Disney Plus. Once a girl came into the office fully dress head to toe in Doc McStuffins attire. She performed a check-up on her stuffy while the pediatrician performed her check-up. It was great!

Daniel Tiger wears a cape to his appointment to be Super Daniel! If this helps your child be brave during their appointment, we definitely encourage this!

Play doctor

Role play going to the doctor. First play with a stuffy and pretend to do a check up on stuffy. Talk the stuffy through everything like you would with your child. Then role play and take turns pretending to do a checkup on each other. You can make this as specific as you need to depending on the type of doctor appointment you are going to. For example, giving medication, getting a shot, getting an xray, etc. Use your imagination and get creative!

Video

I created a Reel on Instagram about our daughter’s trip to the doctor. It’s only 15 seconds long. It could be fun to show your child before going to the doctor of a positive experience! Video is below!

Talk kindly

Your children pick up on how you act, tone of voice, and how you talk about healthcare workers. Even if it is playful or joking, this can affect how your child perceives us.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had parents call me a, “mean nurse” (playfully) after I’ve performed a procedure. Yes, what I’m doing may be uncomfortable but I believe it’s the best thing to help your child. We don’t see ourselves being mean, we are actually being nice!

Parents feel guilty for the discomfort a child feels at the doctor visit and try to pass it on to the healthcare workers. For example, “Yeah see, that nurse is mean, not me, for performing that strep test.” This makes parents feel better passing it on to the nurses and maybe keeps the child from being mad at them. However, it is causing an unhealthy relationship in the future with healthcare professionals and medical care. If they are told we are mean, they will be scared to come back, harder to follow directions, and then we are forced to hold them down for procedures, and that isn’t fun.

I think you get my point, please be patient and speak kindly to us, we are trying our best.

Things that seem to cause anxiety during the visit

Here are a few areas that seem to trigger kids that you can practice a head of time:

Long waiting times

No one likes waiting, especially kids! Come prepared with distractions and snacks.

Vital signs

Getting a child’s height, weight, blood pressures, temperature, etc. This is usually done right away at the office. They don’t know the nurse and she is invading their personal space, that’s hard. Try practicing these at home and talking about the process. Blood pressure seems to be tricky because it gets pretty tight on their arm. Practice this and talk about it before hand. The more they hold still the quicker it is! I highly recommend not commenting on your child’s measurements in front of them. Some providers even recommend not sharing the measurements in front of the child at all, for them not to fixate on them. The doctor will discuss with you if there is any concern on their height or weight.

Stranger anxiety

Like I stated above, this is completely normal. Stranger anxiety is a real physiological responds. The child’s heart rate elevates, they are actually scared. The best thing to do is hold your child close and love on them. The providers will try to be quick and work with you to have the child be near you the whole time to make it the least stressful as possible. Just be patient and speak sweetly, sing songs, and loving touch – it will be over soon!

The exam

Depending on the child, different parts of the exam maybe more or less triggering. For example, my child may not like the part where the doctor looks into her mouth, while another may not like the ears or the lungs. Talk and practice these at home. Maybe bring a stuffy and have the doctor perform the exam on the stuffy first.

Procedures

Getting a nasal swab, throat swab, finger pokes, vaccines, blood draws, X-rays, urine sample, the list goes on of possible procedures that the child may need done. Go through this list and practice coping skills (below).

Tell your child they will hear other children crying

This can really scare kids when they hear others crying. There are a number of reasons why they could be crying. I like to tell my daughter that other children are probably crying because they are sick and don’t feel well.

Coping skills

Going to the doctor is an experience children may not do often. Also, some of the procedures can be uncomfortable, causing the experience to be unpleasant. Plus they don’t fully understand, adults don’t even fully understand! It’s all normal. Below are some tips to help while at the doctor’s appointment that work for our family!

Daniel Tiger

“Close your eyes and think of something happy! Think, think, think of your favorite thing!”

This technique works wonders in our family. As you see below, my daughter had to get her blood draw recently. We went through the tips in this post. Before getting her blood drawn, she was sitting in the chair on my lap. She started singing this song. We talked about things that make her happy. You can pick something before hand to talk about. She wanted to think about playing in the backyard with her cousin. Before we knew it, it was all done! Seriously, no tears, no ouch, no flinching. She was so brave like Super Daniel, she said. I am so proud of her!

Getting procedures and visits done at a children’s hospital or with a pediatrician can be super beneficial. I prefer to take my children to a pediatrician or children’s hospital because they have specific equipment and skill-sets that work better with children. Like with her blood draw, they used special children’s needles and had lots of experience with small children veins. It was done so quickly and she did so well!

“Use your words, use your words! Use your words to say how you feel!”

It is important to encourage your children to express their feelings. When they are upset or acting out, try to state their feelings and then validate them. For example, “You are scared because you think it will hurt. It is okay to be scared. It will hurt a little bit, the pain will stop, and I will be right here for you the whole time.” At her blood draw my daughter said, “I’m a little nervous but I can do this! I can be brave!”

“When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath and count to four: one, two, three, four!”

Teaching your child to take deep breaths when upset is super affective in reducing stress and reorganizing. Have them practice these tips when they are happy and before you get to the office visit.

“With a little help, you can be brave!”

The lyrics to this song are so great. Click here to watch the video. It goes through good coping skills and encouragement from Daniel Tiger to help children who are afraid!

Shot blocker

Some offices use different products to help decrease the pain or at least help distract children, like freeze spray or a Buzzy (image below). Make sure you talk to your nurse before hand to see what they have. I haven’t ever used a Shot Blocker (image below), but some parents swear by them.

Dr. Becky Kennedy and preparing for vaccines

I enjoy following Dr. Becky Kennedy, PhD, (@drbeckyathome) on Instagram.

According to her website, “Dr. Becky is a clinical psychologist, consultant, and parenting guidance provider. She specializes in helping people cope with anxiety and stress, improve relationship satisfaction and communication, and manage work-life pressures. Dr. Becky has an expertise in parenting and child development.”

She gives great practical parenting advice. I’ve been following along since May and I’ve seen some great improvement with my 3.5 year’s management of her emotions. I love seeing her share what I’ve said or done with her, with her younger siblings!

In life we deal with lots of unpleasant moments. Dr. Becky believes it’s important to not teach children to avoid their fears/pain/disappointment, but rather to learn how to cope with them. Below are some ideas.

Both Dr. Becky and I, recommend that surprising a child with a vaccine is not a great idea. This goes along with the preparing your child for their appointment. Use language like Dr. Becky uses below. I also recommend not comparing a shot to a bee sting, that can really freak children out. I usually say, “It’s a quick poke that hurts a little bit. The more relaxed you are the less it hurts and the quicker it is done. The pain will go away after!”

Reel

She does a quick Instagram Reel about how to talk to your child before a vaccine. Below I have a snapshot from her Instastories.

Dr. Becky talks about how we aren’t supposed to keep our children from doing hard things or discomfort, but we are supposed to help guide them through it. I feel like going to the doctors office is one of those great learning moments to teach children how to cope with unpleasant moments.

However, going to the doctor doesn’t have to be unpleasant! I loved going to the doctor growing up, shots and tests and all! That is one of the biggest reasons why I wanted to come a nurse! Follow these tips I provided and hopefully you all will enjoy your doctor visits more!

Click here for tips to taking your child to the dentist!

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